"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have spent most of life trying to save".

“Never be afraid to try something new… an amateur built the ark that lasted forty days and forty nights; professionals built the titanic that sank.”

"Money will not bring you happiness, but I would rather cry in a Mercedes than in a bus".

"Give a man fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit all day in a boat drinking beer".

"Don’t ever be depending on the rabbit’s foot for good luck when it obviously didn’t work for the rabbit".--Unknown

~Bacardi Breezers~
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten overenthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally; sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst.. my wife came home with no panties!!" "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said..... 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"